Friday 19 June 2020
On my current project we have a daily stand-up with the project team (3-4 people from my company and 2-3 people from the client). In these stand-ups, we always turn on our cameras and almost never put up a weird background picture but keep our natural surroundings.
Today, however, my colleague put up a festive picture of balloons as his background to celebrate the fact that it’s Friday. At this point in time, 4 people from my company were dialed in and 1 person from the client company. That person then announced that it was his birthday, so we all decided to put up a balloon background to honor him. Then, client person B dialed in, we started the meeting, and after a few minutes, client person A (the birthday boy) dropped from the call and never returned.
After the stand-up, I realized to my horror that client person B never heard that it was client person A’s birthday because he only joined the meeting after the birthday was mentioned, and as a result, client person B had been in a meeting with a bunch of 4 consultants surrounded by big purple, orange, yellow, and green balloons without knowing why.
I texted a colleague friend about this and she responded: he must have thought you’d all gone crazy.
Very reassuring.
Boomer Blog Week 4
“Hasta la vista, baby” - Serbia’s Eurovision entry 28 years after the quote was culturally relevant. There’s no meaning behind it, I just have the song stuck in my head and I feel less alone if you suffer with me.
This week’s entry is a bit shorter because it’s just one story, the story of the one-minute-video. I couldn’t fit it in with any of the other themes, but it’s a story worth telling so I guess we’re just going to have to be disappointed today. (Or relieved, if you’re only reading this because you think I’ll judge you if you don’t).
Let me take you back to April. It all started when one co-worker informed us he was going to retire more than a year before his actual retirement date because he had so many vacation days saved up. This person was an institution, by which I mean that he had worked at our company for nearly 30 years, doing the exact same job. We obviously needed to honour him for this achievement, but couldn’t because of Miss Rona. So how do we say goodbye to a man we can’t see in person? In a video of course. Our manager had an idea, because they had just done something similar for another person who left because she got a better job.
We were in one of our first Zoom meetings. Coworker X, the almost-retiree, was also in the Zoom call so we needed to find a way to talk about him without him being able to tell. This was easier than you’d expect, because Coworker X has special powers and is a Super Boomer. He is such a Super Boomer, that he managed to avoid ever having to use his mandatory company smartphone. No internet and whatsapp for him, he was using a Nokia brick to the last day. But after this he still had some powers left, because he also avoided ever having to use the company laptop. How could a person get away with this lack of technology and cooperation in 2020? No one knows. That’s why he’s a Super Boomer. So how does a person use Zoom if they don’t have a smartphone or laptop? Well, they don’t.
Our manager had to call Coworker X on his brick and dial him in through his phone.
Coworker X would hear the meeting on speaker and sometimes we could hear him too.
One time the manager’s phone battery died, which kicked Coworker X out of the meeting. No one noticed until we got a passive aggressive email from him about it. He didn’t think it was funny, but I laughed anyway.
I digress. All the manager had to do was to tell everyone to stay on the call after he ended the meeting, and mute his phone while he said this. I’m pretty sure it worked, but we’ll never know because I’m not convinced Coworker X was actually listening to anything said in the meeting. With Coworker X gone, we could discuss what to do.
The manager informed us that we all had to record a 1-minute video on our phones, holding the phone vertically (WHYYYYY), and then Whatsapp it to a coworker that would edit all our individual entries together into one video. Let’s call this coworker Brenda, because that name is funnier than her actual name, which is decidedly not Brenda.
Brenda works in our communications department and is therefore ‘good with technology’. Sounds doable, right? Wrong. You are wrong. You do not win 200 money, you do not pass Go, all you get is this story.
We had a 10-minute discussion about this plan. Here are some quotes.
Coworker A: “So we have to record a video on our phone and then send it on Whatsapp? I don’t know if I can do that on my phone”. Manager: “You can use your company phone” Coworker A: “Oh, you can use the company phone for this? I didn’t know we could record videos on it”. Manager: “Yes Whatsapp works like with other phones”
W.O. Boomer: “So we have to record a video and then send it to Brenda? Which Brenda? Brenda A?”
Me: “There’s only one Brenda working here, so yes Brenda A”
W.O. Boomer: “I just wanted to check”
Me: …
Coworker B: “But if we send it on Whatsapp to Brenda we only get one try, because it automatically sends it if you click it as a message” Manager: “I’m not sure I understand you”
Coworker: “We only get one try because it automatically sends it if you click it as a message” Manager: …
Coworker: “Or Brenda gets a lot of videos from us” Manager: … Coworker: ...
Manager: “So what you do, is you record it on your camera like with any other video. Then when you have a good one, you can send it on Whatsapp like a picture”
Several coworkers: “This sounds complicated”
Me: “I think we understand it [manager’s name], let’s just do it. Okay thanks bye”
Fast forward one week later. Manager sends us a message in the chat to hang back after the meeting ends because Super Boomer still doesn’t have a laptop or smartphone and therefore won’t be able to see it.
Manager: “Brenda told me she hasn’t received any videos. The deadline is tomorrow. How is everyone doing with it?” W.O.: “I’m having a difficult time with it. I keep mumbling when I record the video” Coworker: “That’s how you always talk” W.O.: “No I feel like it’s worse in the video”
It isn’t.
Coworker A: “I still find this very complicated. Can’t we just send him a card in the mail?” Manager: “If you send a card in the mail, you’re reliant on PTT to get it there on time” At this point I checked out because I needed to look up how long it’s been since the postal service was last called PTT. Turns out, 2002. I think after 18 years it’s time to start using the new name.
Coworker A: “So can we do both? A video and a card in the mail?” Manager: “You can do whatever you want, I just ask that you send a video by tomorrow”
W.O.: “So we send the video to Brenda?” Me: “Yes, Brenda A”
My shade went unnoticed.
Super Boomer Coworker X received our video. He sent us an email saying we looked grim, like we were speaking at his funeral. I like to think we were just all remembering the Zoom meetings discussing this assignment.
Okay, well turns out this story was longer than I remembered so you still got the full dose. What can I say except ‘you’re welcome’. Next week I’ll talk about one of my coworkers bumps on her leg that’s filled with fluid. We got weekly updates and I’m sure you’re dying to know how that bump is doing today.